Creating Healthy Boundaries and Why You Haven't Already...14 Questions to Ask

Creating Healthy Boundaries and Why You Haven't Already...14 Questions to Ask

selfishness excuse

Ask yourself why you don’t do something that you know is within you to do. It is something you want, and you stop yourself. What is stopping you, I wonder? And even perhaps more importantly, why? 

One of the things I hear repeated more than once is the excuse of “But it’s selfish!”. I commend you on your efforts to want to put other people first, but this is exactly how negative energy is created. It’s the basic subtraction principles we learned in elementary school. If you have nothing to give, how can you subtract?

Here are 14 Questions to ask to get your life back on track and set some healthy boundaries.  


1.What is it that you are keeping yourself from doing because you think it would be judged by you or others as “selfish”?

2.Who will find it selfish?

3.What is their relation to you and how valuable is their opinion?

4.Does it matter what they think?

5.What are the ways you and others would potentially benefit by doing said thing?

6.Why do you feel obligated to honor others more than honoring yourself and your need?

7.Who have you said yes too quickly too and why is there need more important than yours?

8.Do you believe it is more humble to put yourself last?

9.This is great if you don’t feel angry, bitter, and resentful doing it. Do you?

10. Looking over your life, write down any incidences that you can think of that that taught you to value yourself less.

11. How do you feel about those instances now?

12. What have you discovered about your thoughts as you work through this exercise?

13. In what ways will you alter your perceptions and your actions?

14. Write down at least three things that you can change immediately in your life to apply this lesson.


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